Friday, September 6, 2019
An argument against abortion in relation to considering the mothers well being Essay Example for Free
An argument against abortion in relation to considering the mothers well being Essay Abortion is a highly-debated topic in society today.à People on each side of the argument have very strong views.à They each make good points that are valid.à But they often go so far as to harass the other side of the debate, they openly attack the people with beliefs the opposite of their own.à In this particular debate, were arguing the constitutionality of banning abortion with or without an exception to the ban.à This exception is regarding the health of the mother. à The yes side of the argument says that it was constitutional to ban abortion outright.à They believe in the constitutionality of the ban even without a clause of exception for the health of the mother.à This means that even if the mothers health is in imminent danger, even if she is in danger of dying, she still cannot get an abortion.à These people believe that abortions are wrong and they donââ¬â¢t even condone them when continuing the pregnancy could mean the mother would die.à à The strengths of their argument are that they believe abortion to be murder.à Technically, if you believe that a fetus is a person then yes, it is murder.à They believe that all murder is wrong, even if it would save the mother.à The no-argument says that this ban is wrong in itself.à It needs to have an exemption to protect the well-being of the mother.à Theyââ¬â¢re all for protecting the health of the mother.à If the motherââ¬â¢s life is in imminent danger, then she should easily be able to get a legal abortion.à Itââ¬â¢s not constitutional to ban abortion outright with no clause to protect the mother. A rational choice theory would likely explain why so many people are against these exceptions in banning abortions.à They think the life of this fetus is worth more than the mother.à They believe this because the fetus has a whole life ahead of them while the mother has already lived through a number of years.à They make the rational choice to favor the life of the fetus over that of the mother. The most surprising thing about this argument is how vehemently the yes side argues that abortion is murder.à They believe that an abortion is a murder even if that abortion would save the life of the mother.à Thatââ¬â¢s ridiculous.à Itââ¬â¢s not fair to essentially end the life of the mother just to save the fetus.à Youre killing one to save the other.à Thatââ¬â¢s their exact argument against abortion.à They abhor abortion for killing the fetus but in these instances, its killing the mother.à So if either way, someone will die itââ¬â¢s not fair to automatically favor the mother like this.à I understand that the no argument believes that these exceptions in the ban are not right but I disagree.à I think that the exceptions are necessary.à Its unfair to arbitrarily favor the wellbeing of the fetus over that of the mother.à I think that exceptions to these abortion bans are absolutely necessary.à We need to provide clauses in case the wel lbeing of the mother is in danger.
Thursday, September 5, 2019
Building Services Engineering Science Construction Essay
Building Services Engineering Science Construction Essay This essay will discuss the available green and advanced renewable technology systems to be used in new built extension, the impact on Carbon footprint and effects on the thermal comfort for end users and discuses the building regulations apply. Building services system Building services engineers provide the internal environmental conditions that enable business processes to function at an optimum level while providing comfort conditions for occupants to achieve their maximum performance potential. (CIBSE, Choosing Building services). Designing a building services system is typically a great challenge for designer and the first element to consider is the client needs; this is the key to provide satisfaction and value. However clients relay on advisers to avoid spending great deal of time and effort, and its vary from client to another and use of building therefore each and every client needs should be studied carefully, clients should provide all necessary information in depth to the advisor to help him gain full understanding of what is the client business about and how the proposed project will enhance the business. Many researchers identified environmental factors provided to work force are fundamental to achieve good productivities specially in commercial or service environment, they have reported relationships between air quality and factors such as; speed and accuracy of work, sick leave, accidents and injuries and cost of product or service. Carbon footprint has become a popular name in political meetings, media and almost in all commercials advertising for heating products and services, but what is carbon footprint. A good understanding of the carbon footprint and its effect on the environment should enable designers to understand the importance of selecting the most suitable system to fit the purpose of proposed building, a definition for carbon footprint according to British Petroleum (BP/2007) the carbon footprint is the amount of carbon dioxide emitted due to your daily activities. How the selection of building system will have effect on carbon footprint? The UK has passed legislationà that introduces the worlds first long-term legally binding framework to tackle the dangers of climate change. The Climate Change Bill was introduced into Parliament on 14 November 2007 and became law on 26 November 2008. Theà Carbon Planà published in December 2011, sets out the Governments plans for achieving the emissions reductions committed to in the first fourà carbon budgets,à on a pathway consistent with meeting the 2050 target. This publication brings together the Governments strategy to curb greenhouse gas emissions and deliver our climate change targets, as well as the updated version of our actions and milestones for the next five years; replacing the draft Carbon Plan published in March 2011. Buildings are responsible of using nearly 40 percent of global energy and therefore they are major emitters of Co2 and other gases, the main common types of end use in buildings are: Heating (Ventilation and air conditioning systems). Water heaters. Lighting Computers (data centres and electronic appliances). Refrigerators and all white goods. Research by Centre for Research in the Built Environment has revealed a significant amount of over- estimating in the amount of internal heat gain in UK office design. The over design in building services system can lead to over sizing plant, maintenance cost and surely increase in operating cost which leads to emitting extra carbon in to the environment, as well as the under sizing could have same if not larger effect on carbon footprint as the demand for the source (heat, lightingà ¢Ã¢â ¬Ã ¦etc) will continue the satisfaction for the comfort not met will result in continues use of energy. Ground source heat pumps The ground source heat pump system extracts heat from the ground, where temperature will be warmer than the air in winter and cooler than the air in summer. For this reason they are more efficient than air source heat pumps, especially in the coldest weather when they are most needed. They last for many years some manufacturing companies generate for minimum of 25 years, the noise from operating very little, and minimal servicing. The most practical way of extracting this energy is through water circulating through pipes in the ground. The pipes for the ground loop are usually laid in horizontal trenches at two metres deep, but vertical boreholes are an alternative, if more expensive, way of achieving similar results where there is not enough land to lay pipes horizontally. At depths below six metres, the ground temperature does not vary much from the Mean Annual Air Temperature (around 9à °C -11à °C in the UK depending on location). At a depth below two metres, there is a large store of warmth that can be tapped for heating in the winter. However, this temperature will drop quickly where a heat pump is extracting a lot of heat from a small ground loop it is therefore very important that the size of the ground loop matches the heating load of the building. Advantages of Ground Source Heat Pumps Heat pumps save money. Heat pumps are much cheaper to run than direct electric heating. They are cheaper to run than oil boilers and can be cheaper than running gas boilers. Because heat pumps can be fully automated they demand much less work than biomass boilers. Heat pumps save carbon emissions. Unlike burning oil, gas, LPG or biomass, a heat pump produces no carbon emissions on site (and no carbon emissions at all, if a renewable source of electricity is used to power them). Heat pumps save space. There are no fuel storage requirements. Heat pumps are safe. There is no combustion involved and no emission of potentially dangerous gases. No flues are required. Heat pumps require less maintenance than combustion based heating systems. Heat pumps can provide cooling in summer, as well as heating in winter. Disadvantages of Ground Source Heat Pumps GSHPs are more expensive to install than air source heat pumps because of the need to install a ground heat exchanger. However, this connection to the ground is what enables a GSHP to perform much more efficiently than an ASHP particularly when the external air temperature is low in winter and you most need heating. Problems arise with ground source heat pumps if the installation is poorly designed or not matched to the heating needs of the building. 1-s2.0-S0378778811004385-gr1.jpg Interseasonal Heat Transfer (IHT) The Interseasonal Heat Transfer offers sustainable energy source by using new technology observed from the site where installed, by storing the direct heat from the sun to the ground in summer and back the building in winter without using any other source of heat or burning fuel. By integrating solar thermal collected in summer to heat storage in Thermal Banks to increase the efficiency and coefficient of performance of ground source heat pumps in cold days. It works also in reverse by transferring captured cold in winter stored in Thermal Banks in the ground to the building to cool down in summer. (IHT) advantages and disadvantages Advantages Could save up to 50% of carbon emission in compare to other heat source such as gas boilers for heating. Could save up to 80% of carbon emission in compare to the use of standard air condition for cooling. Could save up to 100% of the cost in running heating system when claiming for producing renewable energy. Low maintenance. Disadvantages Cost of installation Poor installation will reduce the efficiency of the system. Solar Panels The sun provides a rich, free source of clean energy in the form of natural light and heat. It is likely to capture some of this free energy directly to exchange sunlight into electricity using solar photovoltaic (PV) panels. Solar PV systems convert light into electrical power using a thin layer of semi-conducting material, typically silicon, enclosed between a sheet of glass and a polymer resin. The variety in size from a not many square centimetres, for instance on calculators and watches to systems of hundreds of square metres made from interconnected modules that form any range. When exposed to daylight electrons in the semi-conducting material turn into energised, these electrons are then able to flow through the material producing a direct current (DC), the DC is carried through wiring to an inverter which converts the current to 240V alternating current (AC) so it can be associated to the building electricity supply. http://www.which-solar.co.uk/wp-content/themes/victoria/images/howimage.jpg Summery The new technology, the fast developing to the technology and the responsibilities on the building owners and designers encourages the use of green technology and reduce carbon footprint emitted from buildings. In the proposed office extension that faces southwest it would be recommended to use combined of two systems for electricity and heat of solar panels and Interseasonal heat transfer (IHT) to achieve a maximum reduction of carbon footprint and maintain the comfort for staff and end user. Task 2 Class room 309 according to readings on dry and wet bulb readings were as follow 17 wet 21 dry Using the Psychrometric chart the wet and dry readings met to 66% Humidity According to CIBSE (Health Issue in Building Services, TM40, 2006) publication there are no regulations on moisture however its recommendations for normal building are set to be 40% to 70% and the target for design to be 60%.
Wednesday, September 4, 2019
Modelling of ò-turns using Hidden Markov Model
Modelling of à ²-turns using Hidden Markov Model Modelling of à ²-turns using Hidden Markov Model Nivedita Rao Ms. Sunila Godara Abstractââ¬â One of the major tasks in predicting the secondary structure of a protein is to find the à ²-turns. Functional and structural traits of a globular protein can be better understood by the turns as they play an important role in it. à ²-turns play an important part in protein folding. à ²-turns constitute on an average of 25% of the residues in all protein chains and are the most usual form of non-repetitive structures. It is already known that helices and à ²-sheets are among the most important keys in stabilizing the structures in proteins. In this paper we have used hidden Markov model (HMM) in order to predict the à ²-turns in proteins based on amino acid composition and compared it with other existing methods. Keywords- à ²-turns, amino acid composition, hidden Markov model, residue. I. Introduction Bioinformatics has become a vital part of many areas of biology. In molecular biology, bioinformatics techniques such as signal processing or image processing allow mining of useful results from large volumes of raw data. In the field ofgeneticsandgenomics, it helps in sequencing and explaining genomes and their perceivedmutations. It plays an important part in the analysis of protein expression, gene expression and their regulation. It also helps in literal mining of biological prose and the growth of biological and gene ontologies for organizing and querying biological data. Bioinformatics tools aid in the contrast of genetic and genomic data and more commonly in the understanding of evolutionary facets of molecule based biology. At a more confederated level, bioinformatics helps in analyzing and categorizing the biological trails and networks that are an significant part of systems biology. In structural biology, bioinformatics helps in the understanding, simulation and modelling of RNA, DNA and protein structures as well as molecular bindings. The advancements in genome has increased radically over the recent years, thus resulting in the explosive growth of biological data widening the gap between the number of protein sequences stored in the databases and the experimental annotation of their functions. There are many types of tight turns. These turns may subject to the number of atoms form the turn [1]. Among them is à ²-turn, which is one of the important components of protein structure as it plays an important part in molecular structure and protein folding. A à ²-turn invokes four consecutive residues where the polypeptide chain bends back on itself for about 180 degrees [2]. Basically these chain reversals are the ones which provide a protein its globularity rather than linearity. Even à ²-turns can be further classified into different types. According to Venkatachalam [3], à ²-turns can be of 10 types based on phi, psi angles and also some other. Richardson[4] suggested only 6 distinct types(I,I,II,II,VIa and VIb) on the basis of phi, psi ranges, along with a new category IV. Presently, classification by Richardson is most widely used. Turns can be considered as an important part in globular proteins in respect to its structural and functional view. Without the component of turns, a polypeptide chain cannot fold itself into a compressed structure. Also, turns normally occur on the visible surface of proteins and therefore it possibly represents antigenic locations or involves molecular recognition. Thus, due to the above reasons, the prediction of ß-turns in proteins becomes an important element of secondary structure prediction. II. RELATED WORK A lot of work has been done for the prediction of à ²-turns. To determine chain reversal regions of a globular protein, Chou at al. [5] used conformational parameters. Chou at al. [6] has given a residue-coupled model in order to predict the à ²-turns in proteins. Chou at al. [7] used sequence of tetra peptide. Chou [8] again predicted tight turns and their types in protein using amino acid residues. Guruprasad K at al. [9] predicted à ²-turn and à ³-turn in proteins using a new set of amino acid and hydrogen bond. Hutchinson at al. [10] created a program called PROMOTIF to identify and analyse structural motifs in proteins. Shepherd at al. [11] used neural networks to predict the location and type of à ²-turns. Wilmot at al. [12] analysed and predicted different types of à ²-turn in proteins using phi, psi angles and central residues. Wilmot at al. [13] proposed a new nomenclature GORBTURN 1.0 for predicting à ²-turns and their distortions. This study has used hidden Markov model to predict the à ²-turns in the protein. HMM has been widely used as biological tools. (a) (b) Figure 1.1 (a) defines Type-I ß-turns and (b) defines Type-II ß-turns. The hydrogen bond is denoted by dashed lines. [14] III. Materials and methods A. Dataset The dataset used in the experiment is a non-redundant dataset which was previously described by Guruprasad and Rajkumar [9]. This dataset contains around 426 non-homologous protein chains. All protein chains do not have more than 25% sequence similarity. It is basically to ensure that there is very little correlation in the training set. In this dataset, each protein chain contains at least one beta turn and has X-ray crystallography with resolution 2 or more. The dataset shows there are mainly ten classes and other classes are made using the combination of these ten classes. Table 1 Datasets Description [14] B. Hidden markov model In our work, we have used the probabilistic feature of HMM for à ²-turns prediction. A model is presumed that ruminate the protein sequence being generated with a stochastic process that alternates amid two hidden states: ââ¬Å"turnsâ⬠and ââ¬Å"non-turnsâ⬠. The HMM is trained using 20 protein sequences. The probability transition matrix is 2Ãâ"2 for two states: turns and non-turns. The probability emission matrix is considered as 2Ãâ"20 as there are 2 states and 20 amino acids. We prepared our probability transition matrix and probability emission matrix according to the knowledge that we have for dataset that is the probability of à ²-non-turns is more than à ²-turns in a protein sequence and by considering probabilities of each residue as the parameter taken from Chou [7] for calculating the emission and transition matrix. There are more than ten classes and this HMM model parameter is estimated in2 super states and the training was performed. Let P be a protein sequence of length n, which can also be expressed as Where ri is the amino acid residue at sequence position i. The sequence is considered to be generated from r1 to rn in hidden Markov model. The model is trained using Baum-Welch algorithm [15]. Baum-Welch algorithm is a standard method for finding the maximum likelihood estimation of HMMs, in which posterior probabilities were performed by using both forward and backward algorithms. These algorithms were used to compile the state transition probability and emission probability matrices. The initial probabilities are calculated, taking into account a correlation between residues in different position. The most probable path is calculated using Viterbi algorithm [16] as it automatically segments the protein into its component regions. The probability of residue in the protein sequence used to generate the emission matrix given by Where, m is the total number that of residue in the protein sequence and n is the total number of residues in the protein sequence. C. Accuracy measures Once the prediction of à ²-turns is performed using the hidden Markov model, the problem arises of finding an appropriate measure for the quality of the prediction. Four different scalar measures are used to assess the models performance [17]. These measures can be derived four different quantities: TP (true positive), p, is the number of correctly classified à ²-turn residues. TN (true negative), n, is the number of correctly classified non-à ²-turn residues. FP (false positive), m, is the number of non-à ²-turn residues incorrectly classified as à ²-turn residues. FN( false negative), o, is the number of à ²-turn residues incorrectly classified as non-à ²-turn residues. The predictive performance of the HMM model can be expressed by the following parameters: Qtotal gives the percentage of correctly classified residues. MCC (Matthews Correlation Coefficient) [18] is a measure that counts for both over and under- predictions. Qpredicted , is the percentage of à ²-turn predictions that are correct. Qobserved is the percentage of observed à ²-turns that are correctly predicted. IV. results and discussions A. Results This model is used to predict the à ²-turns and is based on hidden Markov model. There are basically two classes: turns and non-turns. It is used to predict one protein sequence at a time. It has been observed that it performs better than some existing prediction methods. B. Comparison with other methods In order to examine of this method, it has been compared with other existing methods as shown in table 2. For now, the comparison is done on a single protein sequence. The comparison is for protein sequence with PDB code 1ah7. Figure 2 shows comparison of Qtotal using different algorithms. Figure 3 shows comparison of Qpredicted using different algorithms. Figure 4 shows comparison of Qobserved using different algorithms. Figure 5 shows comparison of MCC using different algorithms. The HMM based method shows better results than some of the already existing algorithms of the prediction. Figure 2. comparison of Qtotal with different algorithms Figure 4. comparison of Qobserved with different algorithms Figure 3. comparison of QPredicted with different algorithms Figure 5. comparison of MCC with different algorithms Table 2 Comparison with other methods V. conclusion In this paper, we presented a way in which HMM can be used to predict à ²-turns in a protein chain. Our method is used to predict turns and non-turns of single protein sequence at a time. The results thus obtained are better than some of the other existing methods. The performance of the à ²-turns can further be improved by considering other techniques such as using predicted secondary structures and dihedral angles from multiple predictors or by using feature selection technique [19] or by considering combination of many features together. We can also combine different machine learning techniques together to improve the performance of the prediction. References Chou, Kuo-Chen. Prediction of tight turns and their types in proteins.Analytical biochemistry286.1 (2000): 1-16. Chou, P.Y. and Fasman, G.D. (1974) Conformational parameters for amino acids in helical, beta-sheet and random coil regions calculated from proteins.Biochemistry, 13, 211-222. Venkatachalam, C. M. Stereochemical criteria for polypeptides and proteins. V. Conformation of a system of three linked peptide units.Biopolymers6.10 (1968): 1425-1436. Richardson, Jane S. The anatomy and taxonomy of protein structure. Advances in protein chemistry34 (1981): 167-339. Chou, P. Y., and G. D. Fasman. Prediction of beta-turns.Biophysical journal 26.3 (1979): 367-383. Chou, K.C. ââ¬Å"Prediction of beta-turnsâ⬠Journal of Peptide Research(1997): 120-144. Chou, Kou-Chen, and James R. Blinn. Classification and prediction of à ²-turn types.Journal of protein chemistry16.6 (1997): 575-595. Chou, Kuo-Chen. Prediction of tight turns and their types in proteins.Analytical biochemistry286.1 (2000): 1-16. Guruprasad, Kunchur, and Sasidharan Rajkumar. Beta-and gamma-turns in proteins revisited: a new set of amino acid turn-type dependent positional preferences and potentials.Journal of biosciences25.2 (2000): 143. Hutchinson, E. Gail, and Janet M. Thornton. PROMOTIFââ¬âa program to identify and analyze structural motifs in proteins.Protein Science5.2 (1996): 212-220. Shepherd, Adrian J., Denise Gorse, and Janet M. Thornton. Prediction of the location and type of à ²-turns in proteins using neural networks.Protein Science8.5 (1999): 1045-1055. Wilmot, C. M., and J. M. Thornton. Analysis and prediction of the different types of à ²-turn in proteins.Journal of molecular biology203.1 (1988): 221-232. Wilmot, C. M., and J. M. Thornton. à ²-Turns and their distortions: a proposed new nomenclature.Protein engineering3.6 (1990): 479-493. Available from :http://imtech.res.in/raghava/betatpred/intro.html Welch, Lloyd R. Hidden Markov models and the Baum-Welch algorithm.IEEE Information Theory Society Newsletter53.4 (2003): 10-13. Lou, Hui-Ling. Implementing the Viterbi algorithm.Signal Processing Magazine, IEEE12.5 (1995): 42-52. Fuchs, Patrick FJ, and Alain JP Alix. High accuracy prediction of à ²Ã ¢Ã¢â ¬Ã turns and their types using propensities and multiple alignments.Proteins: Structure, Function, and Bioinformatics59.4 (2005): 828-839. Matthews, Brian W. Comparison of the predicted and observed secondary structure of T4 phage lysozyme.Biochimica et Biophysica Acta (BBA)-Protein Structure405.2 (1975): 442-451. Saeys, Yvan, Ià ±aki Inza, and Pedro Larraà ±aga. A review of feature selection techniques in bioinformatics.bioinformatics23.19 (2007): 2507-2517.
Tuesday, September 3, 2019
Light and Dark in Heart of Darkness Essay -- Heart Darkness essays
Light and Dark in Heart of Darkness à à The brightest of lights can obscure vision while darkness can contain truths: one must not be distracted by the sheen of light, which conceals the deeper reality present in darkness. Joseph Conrad's novel Heart of Darkness illustrates this idea with the use of several symbols. White Europeans are used as symbols of self-deception, and objects with an alabaster quality are symbols of barriers to inner truth. Black is the foil of white; it represents the inner truth beneath the white surface reality. White people and objects represent the exterior reality that obscures the deeper truth present in darkness. à The Europeans in the novel represent those who hide from the truth within them and within reality. In Conrad's novel, most Europeans are portrayed as self-deceptive; they use societal customs to obscure the darkness and emptiness present within their souls. The chief accountant exemplifies the self-deceptive European. Marlow gives his impression of the accountant in this excerpt, "I took him [the accountant] for a sort of vision. I saw a high starched collar, white cuffs, a light alpaca jacket... He was amazing" (Conrad 84). The accountant later stated, "The groans of this sick person distract my attention [from his work]" (Conrad 85). The accountant is so centered on maintaining a proper European image and European work ethic that he impressed Marlow, but the accountant showed no compassion for his fellow man. The accountant's appearance belied the darkness in his soul. Similar to the accountant, the General Manager maintained an aura of white civilization to hide the em ptiness and darkness that existed beneath his white surface. The manager paid proper ... ...ists within every human soul. Conrad used the contrasting images of white and black to illustrate his view that evil exists within us all. Light, which relates to civilization and its practices, helps to control and hide the dark truth within us, but that black truth of human nature will always remain. à à Sources Consulted: à Conrad, Joseph. Norton Critical Editions: Heart of Darkness.à Ed. Robert Kimbrough. New York: W. W. à à à à à Norton, 1963. 3-79. Gekoski, R. A.. "Heart of Darkness." Modern Critical Interpretation: Joseph Conrad's Heart of à à à à à Darkness.à Ed. Harold Bloom.à New York: Chelsea House Publishers, 1987. 57-76. à Said, Edward W "The Past and the Present: Conrad's Shorter Fiction."à Modern Critical Views: Joseph Conrad. Ed. à à à à à Harold Bloom.à New York: Chelsea House Publishers, 1986. 29-52. à Light and Dark in Heart of Darkness Essay -- Heart Darkness essays Light and Dark in Heart of Darkness à à The brightest of lights can obscure vision while darkness can contain truths: one must not be distracted by the sheen of light, which conceals the deeper reality present in darkness. Joseph Conrad's novel Heart of Darkness illustrates this idea with the use of several symbols. White Europeans are used as symbols of self-deception, and objects with an alabaster quality are symbols of barriers to inner truth. Black is the foil of white; it represents the inner truth beneath the white surface reality. White people and objects represent the exterior reality that obscures the deeper truth present in darkness. à The Europeans in the novel represent those who hide from the truth within them and within reality. In Conrad's novel, most Europeans are portrayed as self-deceptive; they use societal customs to obscure the darkness and emptiness present within their souls. The chief accountant exemplifies the self-deceptive European. Marlow gives his impression of the accountant in this excerpt, "I took him [the accountant] for a sort of vision. I saw a high starched collar, white cuffs, a light alpaca jacket... He was amazing" (Conrad 84). The accountant later stated, "The groans of this sick person distract my attention [from his work]" (Conrad 85). The accountant is so centered on maintaining a proper European image and European work ethic that he impressed Marlow, but the accountant showed no compassion for his fellow man. The accountant's appearance belied the darkness in his soul. Similar to the accountant, the General Manager maintained an aura of white civilization to hide the em ptiness and darkness that existed beneath his white surface. The manager paid proper ... ...ists within every human soul. Conrad used the contrasting images of white and black to illustrate his view that evil exists within us all. Light, which relates to civilization and its practices, helps to control and hide the dark truth within us, but that black truth of human nature will always remain. à à Sources Consulted: à Conrad, Joseph. Norton Critical Editions: Heart of Darkness.à Ed. Robert Kimbrough. New York: W. W. à à à à à Norton, 1963. 3-79. Gekoski, R. A.. "Heart of Darkness." Modern Critical Interpretation: Joseph Conrad's Heart of à à à à à Darkness.à Ed. Harold Bloom.à New York: Chelsea House Publishers, 1987. 57-76. à Said, Edward W "The Past and the Present: Conrad's Shorter Fiction."à Modern Critical Views: Joseph Conrad. Ed. à à à à à Harold Bloom.à New York: Chelsea House Publishers, 1986. 29-52. Ã
Monday, September 2, 2019
Making Decisions In The Road Not Taken by Frost :: essays research papers
Making Decisions in ââ¬Å"The Road Not Takenâ⬠à à à à à In ââ¬Å"The Road Not Takenâ⬠Frost emphasizes that every person is a traveler choosing the roads to follow on the map of their continuous journey-life. There is never a straight path that leads a person one sole direction in which to head. Regardless of the original message that Robert Frost had intended to convey, ââ¬Å"The Road Not Takenâ⬠has left me with many different interpretations. Throughout this poem, it is obvious that decisions are not easy to make and each decision will lead you down a different path. In this poem, Frost illustrates that every person has his own opinion. He states ââ¬Å"Then took the other, just as fair, and having perhaps the better claimâ⬠(line 6-7). What make it better was ââ¬Å"it was grassy and wanted wearâ⬠(line 8). It was something that was obviously not for everyone because it seems that the other people take the more popular one. ââ¬Å"And both that morning equally lay/ In leaves no step had trodden blackâ⬠(line 11). No one had yet to pass by on this road since the leaves have fallen. ââ¬Å"I kept the first for another dayâ⬠(line 13). The desire to travel down both paths is expressed and is not unusual, but ââ¬Å"knowing how way leads onto wayâ⬠(line 14). The speaker of this poem realizes that the decision is not just a temporary one, and he ââ¬Å"doubted if I should ever come backâ⬠(line 15). This is his common sense speaking and acknowledging that what he chooses now will affect every other choice he will make in the future. à à à à à At the end of the poem, the regret hangs over the travelersââ¬â¢ head. He realizes that at the end of his life, ââ¬Å"somewhere ages and ages henceâ⬠(line 17), He will have regrets about having never gone back and traveling down the road he did not take. Yet he remains proud of his decision, and he recognizes that it was this path that he chose that made him turn out the way he did. ââ¬Å"I took the road less traveled by and that has made all the differenceâ⬠(line 19-20). To this man, what really made the difference is that he did what he wanted, even if it meant taking the road less traveled.
Romanticized Idealism
This is the story of Madam Bovary who approaches life with a novelistic, imaginative and idealistic approach.à This Character from her conduct reflect her own personality more and the fact her being a wife seems less associated with her vision of life. Emma, as her name was, was used to living in imaginary world either trying to create fantasy filled perfect life or stays longing for it. This never ending search lead to her to shape a unreal world around her and when eventually she faced the real life left her disappointed. The unimpressive character of her husband and his disinterest in Emmaââ¬â¢s personality having an admiration of her physical beauty only, made her deject life and happiness completely. She wanted to romanticize every day of her life and once married her dreams stayed unfulfilled and left her desires burning inside her heart. à Emma seems to have an obvious character flaw that is her over romanticism leading her life to be discontent. She tried to love her husband but her emotions directed by her vision of an adventurous life ended her even more unhappy. She from her living pattern had the tendency to get bored with the monotony of life and had always looked for change. Charm and comfort of a wealthy life attracts her she was obsessed by the idea of having luxuries and facilities. She blamed her husband for discomfort and simple life. The modern day psychologists suggests that the reason behind these behaviors of characters in literature is to depict how the nature of any one is shaped by its heredity and psychological transformation is an evolutionary process, as a result the authors realizing this human psychic narrate the whole effect from their perspective to make people notice and solve few social problems (David P. Barash, Nanelle R. Barash, 2005). She feels her middle class, simple husband and modest home being responsible for her unhappiness and fails to understand that her unsatisfied nature causes her unease and memoirs of her initial life at farm and convent could never make her forget her past life. Emma's incompetence at being a wife according to the bourgeois habitus allows her to expand her competence as a woman by following the hexis of her female body. (Roland A. Champagne, 2002) Themes of the Madam Bovary Gustave Flaubert has attempted to use the theme of fate with several ambiguous interpretations of romanticism, greed, mockery and deception within the novel. The flaws possessed by different characters have been highlighted. Madam Bovary, as it appears, could be considered the most unlikable personification of a character but as we look at the behavior and conduct of each character we find that each of them contributes their share of encouragement that leads Emma to forget everything and follow her instincts. Its an established fact that ââ¬ËFateââ¬â¢ is considered to the cause of greatest misfortunes a human faces, but when a woman due to her immaturity, lack of insight in life, inability to think critically and analyze situations end up destroying not only her own life but the life of her entire family, blaming fate seems quite an irrational explanation. When a man as experienced and cultured as her lover who deceived her just when she was about to elope with him tries to stand fate as responsible for him using her itââ¬â¢s not acceptable. Her husband, Mr. Charles was nothing but a naà ¯ve. He was no doubts a dull and useless man when it was the time to studyà and try to learn the skills he wasted his time and missed classes consequently he proved to be a bad doctor and filled his own and his familyââ¬â¢s life with misery. He was not living life merely passing time and seemed to have no interest in any thing. He is unintelligent so much so that despite of his mother and neighbors knowing that his wife is involved in extra-marital affairs, he couldnââ¬â¢t sense that, not even for a second. He failed to provide Emma not the kind of life she wanted but even couldnââ¬â¢t make her trust his love by making her feeling proud of him. This gulf of interest her husband possessed about everything in his life made Emma positive about her quest for a free life where she dreams to have everything she longs. Despite some idle cant about high ideals, what clearly attracts her is the artifice of this urban milieu, the ornate trappings and material excess. (Peter Gay, 1999) Romanticism of this lady contributed great for her own unhappiness. She had the tendency of looking at everything with a novelistic approach. A wish to make things perfect completely denying the realities of life and accepting them to normalize her life like every other human being tends to do. She has extremisms in her approach, when she wanted to pray she tried to become a complete devout, when she wanted to love she made it to the limits including her death was also a result of her uncontrolled attitude towards life. In the translated version of Madam Bovary: How false or perverted values debase and dehumanize those who hold such values. Emma Bovary idealizes romance, believing flirtation, trysts, secret letters, and gala balls are the the pith, the very soul, of love. She also prizes thingsââ¬âmoney, chic fashions, sumptuous surroundings, the tinkle of crystal. The dinner-dance she attends in Rouen is a microcosm of the haut monde in which she wants to live. (Eleanor Marx-Aveling) When a person is not responsible itââ¬â¢s too easy to take advantage of this attitude and its gets quite simple to deceive him. When Charles wife found such an attitude in her husband she availed the opportunity and tried to deceive him in every possible way. Deception lead a relationship to disastrous ends, her adultery for so long had been hidden by her husband, she with perfect mastery concealed her actions and not for once her husband even thought about his wifeââ¬â¢s unfaithfulness. He didnââ¬â¢t try to keep a check on her not because very husband should suspect his wife but because a person is suppose to take care of those him or her loves, to protect them and be aware of their happiness. Greed is an evil force that makes men do anything in his power to satisfy it. The characters around Madam Bovary like Lheureux, who this sharp mind and understanding identified her nature and use her weakness to maximize his wealth. He had a liking for Charles property and he made it easy for Madam Bovary to take loans from him. He encouragedà her to make purchases and continued accumulating this debt till the day whenà he could claim everything she had, thus leaving her frustrated and incapable to pay her debt with the guilt of causing her herself destruction. Emma had the false believe of associating happiness with wealth. She had a belief that money could buy happiness, she was extremely materialistic. Her exposure of balls and rich people made her illusionary life more idealized. She wants everything around her to be perfect.à She used to spend lavishly over useless things just to possess all expensive stuff. She had an obsession of stuffing her house with all the articles that were priced high. She used to spend too much on her lovers, who later turned her down when she needed them. Materialistic approach could not help inner emptiness. Emmaââ¬â¢s self-centeredness and quixotic perception of reality cause her to ignore her child, deceive her husband, surrender to promiscuity and go so deeply in debt that she offers her body in payment. (Michael J. Cummings, 2004) Early in the story there is a ball at a grand house ââ¬â an episode that awakes in Emma a dangerous taste for the high life. (Clive James, 2004) The mockery of her lovers who used her for their pleasure was destructive. Despite knowing the fact that she had a weak character they approached her. The insincerity of those lovers was never obvious for Emma, for she had a habit of living in her own imaginary world where everything had to be the way she wanted. She treated real life as being a spectator never enjoy the taste of reality and accept it to let happiness touch her soul. The lovers, they made her fool by using her while making her believe their love and when she needed them, they ran. She was an obvious stupid but in her conduct was not insincere. She was so fond of beauty, luxury, fantasized life and romance that she made herself vulnerable to the mockery of rich and cunning men around her.à One of her lover, in his trial to seduce her said: Does not this conspiracy of the world revolt you? Is there a single sentiment it does not condemn? The noblest instincts, the purest sympathies are persecuted, slandered; and if at length two poor souls do meet, all is so organized that they cannot blend together. Yet they will make the attempt; they will flutter their wings; they will call upon each other. Oh! No matter. Sooner or later, in six months, ten years, they will come together; will love; for fate has decreed it, and the yare born one for the other. (Gustave Flaubert, 1856) Fate no doubt dictates what happens in life but human beings being superiors to all the other creatures just because they posses mind have the capability to survive in even the worst circumstances caused by fate. Realistic approach towards things in life make people fight with great calamities. Women should have enough education so that they may understand themselves and the society, identify their potentials and exploit their possibilities. Given any of the consequences, man is capable enough to fight his fate and make impossibilities vanish from his life. Flaubert was tried on charges of immorality stemming from the publication of the novel; successfully defended him self arguing that the death of Emma shows the novel's upholding of morality and illustrates the consequences of sin. (Dr. Fidel Fajardo-Acosta, 2001) The story ends with Emma committing suicide. Her illusionary vision of life, yearn for pleasureà and comfort, need for dramatic romance made her blind to the welfare of her family, vulnerable to mockery of those who used her just for their pleasure and incapable of understanding the love of her husband who despite of having flaws in his character loved her sincerely. Discovery of her betrayal took her husbands life and left their daughter suffers alone in the whole world with a childhood started as a labor. About the book reviewers write: Consolation and a sense of proportion, a revulsion against chaos, a taste for life.à à à à à à The fictional suffering neutralized the suffering I was experiencing in real life. (Mario Vargas Llosa,1975) Perhaps we identify with Emma because we too feel emptiness at the center of things ââ¬â an emptiness we try to fill with books, with fantasies, with sex, with things. Her yearning is nothing more or less than the human condition in the modern world. (Erica Jong, 1997) References Acosta, Fajardo, Fidel. (2001) World Literature Website 2001. Retrieved March 24, 2008 from, http://fajardo-acosta.com/worldlit/flaubert/bovary.htm Aveling, Marx, Eleanor.( February 25, 2006). EBook #2413. Retrieved March 24, 20008, from,http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/world/readfile?fk_files=223754 Barash, P. David. Barash, R. Nanelle. (2005) Madame Bovaryââ¬â¢s Ovaries: a Darwinian Look at Literature. Retrieved (March 26, 2008). Fromhttp://denisdutton.com/barash_review.htm Champagne, A.à Roland, (2002). Emma's Incompetence as Madame Bovary Retrieved March 24, 2008 from, http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1034/j.1600-0730.2002.570202.x Cummings J. Michael (2004). A study Guide, Retrieved March 24, 20008, from, http://www.cummingsstudyguides.net/Guides3/Bovary.html#Type Flaubert, Gustave.(1856). Madame Bovary James,Clive. (2004). No Way, Madame Bovary. Retrieved (March 24, 2008). from, http://www.powells.com/review/2004_10_05.html Jong, Erica. (Sept. 15, 1997). Retrieved March 24, 2008 from, http://www.salon.com/sept97/bovary970915.html Llosa, Vargas, Mario. (1975) THE PERPETUAL ORGYà Flaubert and Madame Bovary. Peter Gay, (1999). Madame Bovary. Retrieved (March 24, 2008). From, http://brothersjudd.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/reviews.detail/book_id/327 ; ;
Sunday, September 1, 2019
The ring of the phone made my head pound
The ring of the phone made my head pound. I covered my ears as I walked towards the phone in a fragile manner. After a long night out in London, the sound of the phone was particularly what I wanted to hear. I scrambled over the edge of the sofa and clumsily grabbed the phone. ââ¬Å"Hello?â⬠I said sleepily. ââ¬Å"Hi Chrissie, how are you? Feeling any better?â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh hi Will, I actually feel terrible, I could do with some fresh air.â⬠ââ¬Å"Good because I want to take you out somewhere, I haven't seen you for ages!â⬠He was right. It had probably been six weeks since we had seen each other properly, and he oldest and best friend. I asked him where he suggested we went. ââ¬Å"I don't know, maybe I'll drive us out to my Aunt's old cottage in the country. Get away from it all.â⬠It definitely sounded appealing. I needed it and so did Will. He had left for America and had been gone for three long weeks. When he got back I was working and couldn't meet him. Then I became ill. ââ¬Å"You're on!â⬠I said excitedly. ââ¬Å"Can't wait, bye!â⬠He sounded pleased. Those few precious moments I had with him were fantastic. We had so much fun. I sprung up and bounded into my bedroom. Five minutes later, I appeared, pulling on my jacket. I turned of the television. The buzzer rang. ââ¬Å"Delivery,â⬠giggled Will. ââ¬Å"Come on up.â⬠Will had always been a joker, ever since we were in our earliest school days. I opened the door and I was greeted by Will. A huge banana grin spread across his face, he had a glowing tan. He had one of those smiles that lit up the whole room. I shut the door and locked it behind me. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, he turned to face me and opened his arms; I threw mine around his neck. He buried his face in my hair, squeezing me tight. ââ¬Å"Come on, we can catch up on the way.â⬠The tone of his voice was a happy one. I hurried into his mini cooper. ââ¬Å"It's alright for some!â⬠I thought to myself. I sat down and did up my seatbelt. ââ¬Å"What have you been doing since the last time I saw you?â⬠he asked, turning on the radio. ââ¬Å"Not much because I've been off work, but Tom and I did go down to his mum's for a couple of days, but that's about it.â⬠Will had always been uncomfortable about me and Tom. He thought that Tom wasn't good enough for me. But he lived with it, after all he was my best friend. As my boyfriend, Tom thought that I spent too much time with Will. ââ¬Å"What did you get up to in America?â⬠I said, trying to change the subject. ââ¬Å"Ermâ⬠¦,â⬠he stalled for a moment. ââ¬Å"I did lots of photo shoots and recorded and interview for a chat show.â⬠There was silence. My life seemed so boring compared to his. He was always bounding off somewhere or another flash. ââ¬Å"Do you know what?â⬠I whispered. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠replied Will. ââ¬Å"I want you to sing for me.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why?â⬠said Will sounding rather shocked. ââ¬Å"Because the last time you did we were about eighteen.â⬠He turned up the car stereo and skipped to track fourteen and doing as he was told, he softly began to sing: ââ¬Å"Cut to the chase, your pretty face, search outer space, leaving no trace.â⬠I closed my eyes, tipped back my head and let the words wash over me, like waves onto the sand. At school everyone had nicknamed him Golden Tonsils, and now he fitted that name more than ever. As his voice faded I flicked my eyes back open and looked at him. ââ¬Å"Let's play a game!â⬠he squealed with a childish glint in his eye. ââ¬Å"Okay, let's play name that tune, you start.â⬠He began to hum. About an hour later we pulled up outside his Aunt's old house. It was beautifully situated, at the top of a small hill. Will got out and opened the garden gate. I followed him round to the back of the house. I slumped into a patio chair. ââ¬Å"We can eat our sandwiches and stuff here,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"Okay, I'll have chicken please!â⬠Will walked off into the house to make lunch. Suddenly my phone began to buzz on the table. I picked it up and answered it. ââ¬Å"Hello?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"Is Tom there?â⬠said the voice. ââ¬Å"No I'm sorry he's not here at the moment, can I ask who's calling?â⬠ââ¬Å"It's Lucy, his girlfriend.â⬠I froze in shock. ââ¬Å"Alright I'll tell him to call you.â⬠The phone dropped from my grip and my eyes filled with tears. ââ¬Å"What's wrong?â⬠questioned Will concerned, as he appeared in the doorway. ââ¬Å"That was Lucy, Tom's girlfriend,â⬠I mumbled. ââ¬Å"But what?â⬠I broke down in tears. ââ¬Å"Oh Chrissie,â⬠he said coming over to me. He understood and knelt by me to put his arm round my shoulder. I felt safe in his arms, they formed a protective circle. ââ¬Å"I should have listened to you Will, you were right all along.â⬠ââ¬Å"Shhhh, don't say that,â⬠he cooed. I sobbed, letting my head drop onto his shoulder. He lifted me up as though I was a feather and sat me on his lap. I cried for what seemed like hours. I was interrupted again by my phone ringing. I turned to look at it, it said: ââ¬Å"Tom mobile.â⬠Before I got chance to answer it Will cancelled the call. ââ¬Å"I don't want him to spoil our day,â⬠he said firmly, ââ¬Å"I'm glad you told me everything instead of bottling it all up.â⬠ââ¬Å"If you say so.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well what do you want to do?â⬠ââ¬Å"I want to roll around on the grass and get really mucky!â⬠ââ¬Å"You asked for it!â⬠he yelled standing up and throwing me onto the grass. I screamed and tugged at his leg. He tumbled through the long grass, down the sloping garden. We landed in a patch of overgrown plants at the bottom of the hill. As he turned around I grabbed a handful of mud and threw it straight at his face, it dripped down past his nose. He gasped and fell about laughing. The phone rang again. I had to answer it. ââ¬Å"Hello,â⬠I said slightly out of breath. ââ¬Å"Chrissie, why did you hang up on me?â⬠ââ¬Å"Just leave me Tom,â⬠my eyes filled again. Will grabbed the phone and hung up on him. Tears slipped down my cheeks and plopped onto the grass. ââ¬Å"It's alright Chrissie, you don't need him, and I always knew he didn't deserve you.â⬠ââ¬Å"I should have listened to you Will.â⬠ââ¬Å"It's alright.â⬠He encircled me with his arms again. After a short while he suggested I went to wash all the mud out of my hair. ââ¬Å"There's a shower in the main bathroom, you can use that, I'll use the en suite.â⬠I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. When I got out, my clothes were no where to be seen. I wrapped a towel around me and stepped out into the hall. I was face to face with Will. ââ¬Å"Just thought I'd tell you that your clothes are in the washing machine, we'll have to find you something to put on.â⬠We scrambled through a wardrobe. There was one of his infamous sleeveless tops and some of his Aunt's skirts. ââ¬Å"Thanks,â⬠I said waiting for him to leave. I got changed and walked into the kitchen. Will roared with laughter, the top almost reached my knees. ââ¬Å"How can it be dark?â⬠I asked sliding onto the worktop. ââ¬Å"Well you were in there for half an hour! ââ¬Å"You're kidding!â⬠I said, shocked. ââ¬Å"Nope, do you want coffee?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah, sounds good.â⬠I followed him with my steaming mug into the living room. We sat on the sofa and sipped our coffee. ââ¬Å"Will, if you don't mind me asking, did you meet anyone in America?â⬠I asked cautiously. ââ¬Å"Of course I don't mind, I tell you anything and everything! There was one, but we just had a couple of drinks.â⬠ââ¬Å"What was she like?â⬠I asked turning to face him. ââ¬Å"She was really nice, I wish I got her address so I could write to her.â⬠ââ¬Å"Didn't you even get her phone number?â⬠Will was normally more organised than that, I was surprised. ââ¬Å"No, I was going to get it but she had to work on the last day.â⬠I felt sorry for him. ââ¬Å"Anyway, tell me how the article went.â⬠ââ¬Å"Great, the editor loved it, I was really happy with it.â⬠We fell into silence. He looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. We talked late into the night, until I drifted off. The crash of thunder echoed around my room. I sat bolt up right in bed. I gasped as the thunder struck again. I ran from my bed and opened the door. I knocked on the guest room door. ââ¬Å"Come in,â⬠whispered Will a few moments later. I tip toed in and stood at the side of his bed. ââ¬Å"I'm scared of thunder,â⬠I quivered. ââ¬Å"Come in here,â⬠he said lifting the covers back. I slid I and his put his arm around my shoulders. ââ¬Å"You're shaking! Why are you so scared of thunder?â⬠he asked after pausing. ââ¬Å"One summer when we were all on holiday abroad and I was only five, I was outside and it started raining. All I can remember is not being able to find my mum. It began to rain hard and I hid in a corner. The thunder was booming so a man took me to the rep. I was alone for hours and I was so scared that something had happened to my family.â⬠The thunder clapped again, but louder. ââ¬Å"I hate this,â⬠I said over the roar of the thunder. ââ¬Å"You need to ignore it.â⬠ââ¬Å"How can I do that?â⬠ââ¬Å"Close your eyes.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why?â⬠ââ¬Å"Just do it,â⬠he said gently. ââ¬Å"Now you just need to calm down and relax.â⬠He pushed my head back against the pillow. I felt his hand on my forehead as he massaged my temples. The thunder rumbled again but I didn't jump as much. ââ¬Å"That's better, ignore it.â⬠I yawned. ââ¬Å"Go to sleep,â⬠he whispered. It wasn't that hard. As his lips pressed against mine I shivered. ââ¬Å"What are you doing Will?â⬠I asked as he kissed the side of my mouth. ââ¬Å"Don't you want this?â⬠he asked. I felt intrigued. I nodded ââ¬Å"Kiss me,â⬠he whispered.â⬠He didn't waste a second before kissing me againâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ¦.. Suddenly I was awake, sweating slightly. It had seemed so real, I couldn't believe what had just happened. My feelings had been so muddled recently I didn't know what to make of it. As the first beam of sunlight hit my face, I jumped up. It was Monday, work again. Will had already gone. I dressed quickly and grabbed my car keys and headed for the door. It had been mad couple of days. I arrived late so had to get straight to work. ââ¬Å"Where are the questions I'm supposed to be asking that guy today?â⬠I asked running clumsily through the office door. ââ¬Å"Over in your tray.â⬠ââ¬Å"Right, thanks.â⬠I picked them up. ââ¬Å"Room two,â⬠said someone walking past. I hadn't really got over the shock of my dream. I pushed open the door and the guy stood with his back turned, having his make up done. ââ¬Å"Typical,â⬠I muttered under my breath. He turned around. It was Will! ââ¬Å"Oh my Will, what are you doing here? I didn't know it was you I was interviewing.â⬠ââ¬Å"Hello Chrissie.â⬠I was not impressed. I looked at him and remembered why it felt weird. I blushed. ââ¬Å"Um, do you want to sit down?â⬠I asked, not taking my eyes off the paperwork in front of me. He nodded. His huge eyes sparkled and he was smiling slightly. I had butterflies. He sat down in a large chair in front of me. ââ¬Å"So, Will, what's the title of your new album?â⬠ââ¬Å"It's called ââ¬ËFrom Now On'.â⬠I wrote down every word he said. ââ¬Å"What's your favourite song on it?â⬠I asked still not taking my eyes off the paper in front of me. A door somewhere clicked, and closed. I could sense we were alone. ââ¬Å"When is it released?â⬠he sighed. ââ¬Å"Chrissie look at me.â⬠I didn't. His finger slid under my chin and he pulled my face up to look at him. ââ¬Å"What's this all about? Why are you acting strangely?â⬠ââ¬Å"Nothing,â⬠I said, but my voice shook. He was beautiful in the dim light of the room. ââ¬Å"Chrissie, what's wrong,â⬠he repeated quietly ad I stared at the floor. ââ¬Å"Answer,â⬠he started But I silenced him with a finger to his lips. I put my head forward and captured his lips in mine. My eyes fluttered closed as I kissed him gently. I thought: what am I doing? This could ruin everything. I wondered whether to tell him about my dream. It might unnerve him to discover that his best friend could quite possibly be in love with him. ââ¬Å"Will.â⬠I managed to look him in the eye. ââ¬Å"Yes?â⬠ââ¬Å"I've got something to I think you ought to know,â⬠I said nervously. I took a deep breath. ââ¬Å"After some of the awful experiences I've had in relationships recently, it made thinkâ⬠¦.â⬠ââ¬Å"Go on,â⬠he said cautiously. ââ¬Å"I think, no I know that I want you.â⬠He looked away, and seemed confused. My heart sank. I knew I would regret telling him because I could now loose him as a friend. ââ¬Å"I'm sorry, I was crazy to ever think you would feel the same.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well as it happens I've got something to tell you too Chrissie. I wanted to tell you before but I thought it would break you.â⬠I felt awkward and tense, wondering what he had to tell me. Whatever he was going to say, looked like it was going to be bad news now. ââ¬Å"While I was over in the States, they offered me a fantastic contract; working over there with a fantastic manager and a tour of my own. It's always been my dream to break America. But I came back here to think it through before making any decisions. It's such a huge step to take, to move away from all my friends and family because it means living there for three years.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh.â⬠I was so sure he'd take it. ââ¬Å"I've thought long and hard about it and I've decided that I'm going to do it, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity.â⬠I felt myself well up. Not only had I ruined my friendship with my best friend but I wouldn't see him for three years. ââ¬Å"But,â⬠he took a deep breath. After what you've just saidâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ¦Ã¢â¬ ¦.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes?â⬠ââ¬Å"I want you to come with me!ââ¬
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